i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
