The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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