I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
