I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
