I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
