Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
