I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
