Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
