On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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