I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
