Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
