Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
