theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
