S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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