ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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