I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
