Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
