Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
