O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
