i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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