you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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