I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
