And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
