I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
