I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
