threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
