i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
