Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
