Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
