i need an iv and a liver transplant
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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