Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Everyone says I win the strip club
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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