1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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