You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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