Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
