Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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