More tranny stories later!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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