Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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