I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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