this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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