Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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