Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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