i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
3pm strippers are depressing
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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