dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
