Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
