fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
