i'm signing you up for texting rehab
two words: eviction party
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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