omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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