So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
