I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
In America we eat man semen.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
