Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
