She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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