Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
