So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
