Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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