Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize