Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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