did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize