Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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