and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
