no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
