i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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