Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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