Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
