'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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